Thursday, March 11, 2010

Motherhood

All through life growing up when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would answer "a mother".  At times I would also be interested in interior design, architecture, dental assisting, early childhood teacher, and a few other things that I can't even remember.  Through it all though there was such a strong desire that first and foremost I just wanted to be a mom.

Fast forward many years and I am a mom... my kids are finally getting to an age that they are in school.  My youngest is in Pre-K and I have time every single day at home alone.  Many people have asked me what I intend to do with my time now that I have that time each day.  It's only 2 1/2 hours so I reply that just trying to get errands done or workout while she is at school fills my 2 1/2 hours very well.  It has gotten me thinking though about what I will spend my time on when she is going to school full time and not just for a few hours each day.

I've always thought that when that happened I would want to go back to school and finish my degree.  That opens all the doors and windows of thinking what that degree might be in.

I've come to the conclusion for now that I don't really have anything I feel compelled to go and get my degree in.  I don't have anything that I just know I need to go back to school and study.  And for now I'm fine with that.  I'm fine with the fact that I will just enjoy being a mom.  I'll take more time to volunteer at the school.  I'll probably get into a routine and keep my house a little cleaner than I have in the past.  My sheets might get changed more regularly instead of just when it is extremely necessary to change them.

I'll try out new hobbies, and whether they become hobbies I continue and enjoy, or ones that I decide is best left to someone else- I'll have the time to try them.

And there is a great peace that comes to making that decision.  No matter who questions my choices or what I do, I am at peace with that decision and that makes it easier.

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